Yes, today she just want to do something she did as usual, in the past years.
"Being in a hostile environment, witnessing things you've never seen before and hanging out with new buddies...seem kinda fun. But sometimes when you get away from home for too long, in my case 3months, you kinda get tired. You wake up in the morning wondering where's that thick blanket that has the greatest smell on earth. You try to close your eyes again, hoping that when you wake up again your room at home magically appears. Most of the time you just convince yourself that the sun will not go down on you today, so get up and continue working for your dream."
"I don't know if i ever had one, but for now I'm really not sure which direction i'm heading to. I'm not sure if I ever felt so confused in life before. I'm not even sure if I'm where I'm supposed to be. Being 20 is hard. Ranting about it won't change anything. It's even harder when you don't even have time to hang out with the one you can talk with."
I guess she's a little bit different now. She used to be the girl who smiles a lot and enjoy every little thing. Now she's still smile, but that were not so...real anymore. I don't think she's having fun. Reality strikes, she doesn't have much choice but to accept and work for the future. She get many advices from friends, including those who are experienced. Anyhow she feels hard to implement some, too hard to be true. Not that she never try, it was just... to panic to step into the world with a wide big evil smile saying welcome.
No time to be weak, no reason for being weak as well. She learned this at this environment. Everyone around walk fast, she will be left far behind if she were to take it slow. Everyone speaks, she will be deadly forgotten if she didn't. Everyone socialise, she will definitely be islanded if she choose her own living way. 'Is this university life in the dream with all new buddies around, doing great things together, have snaps with sparkling smiles?' She always wonder.
She is always being
anesthetized by 'real-life homeworks' and alikes. Being 20 / soon 21 is hard. She doesn't want to dissapoint anyone that ever help her to reach this stage. Including her family, who've spent a lot for her education. 'Perhaps this is the education of life, she convices herself.
Time to stand up and fight. Time to stop acting like a pity one. Time to strike for her own future. Time to take charge of her education, push her boundaries, be counted and make a difference.
Time to really learn, grow, lead and serve; Make herself unforgettable.
