warming up.

I'm struggling whether to write a post or not as I am getting lazy and gonna make sure what I write makes sense.

It's about the George Town Festival, yes I am back after a year

so soon it had been a year, too soon

It's a bit different this year, without some similar faces

I join the team as a volunteer/helper, again

Have great passion into a more involved position, 

to see how they work things out, to liase with more people

I was assiged to an event called the 'YES Broadway'

It was a long event, I mean the preparation period

for a week, i go over the island everyday, continuously (almost) early in the morning

and go home late at night, almost midnight

I never promise it will be an easy job that guarantees satisfaction,

instead, I have lots of mixed feelings during that period, to be honest

I started it with excitement, involvement, responsibilities, doubts, slowly feel so sick with everything, boredness, passive, slowly found fun, new volunteers coming in, started to engage back, proactive, passionate, and then the event had finally called an end, 

feeling now is like: omg I miss everything so much!

It's not easy but it's very meaningful

At first I wanted a job like interviewing uncles aunties who hold on the traditional elements in the state, 
something more into the live heritage and to understand more the story of penang

in short, more heritage elements than arts

that's why I felt doubt in the middle of broadway show

but somehow they brought something else, like their passion into music and dance

a respectful one and I started to find fun.

The Broadway

I started to enjoy every working days,

the long driving journey over the sea to the town

sing loud along with songs from radio in car

simply nice, or awesome.

Journey back home is a chilling one, 

I tune to lite fm and drive slowly

to enjoy the serenity and beauty of night in penang. 

sunny day never failed to make my day.

I went to Batu Feringgi beach for lunch break, lol.

and of course eventually get my pants wet.

The people I met really inspire me a lot

Each of them have their special characters and charisma that you'll want to learn from

They are great amazing people, taught me lots, like keep holding on dreams etc

They are also fun, seriously

she's so sweet.

I like how everytime GTF can inspire me and teach me some unexpected life lessons

too much, yea

It's like a roller coaster for me, ups and downs, 

and yet you'll want to try it again though uneasy feelings might appear in between
it's life right

I love you all, people

fun performers, staff, volunteers, visitors, all

I started to anticipate for the street celebration, much more fun hopefully

and yes, life-long friends made, truly appreciate.

recently.

okay, long time apart since the last post, time to renew this site.

so I went to the Mayday concert in February.
I would say it was a truly sincere one and it touched deep into your feeling inside
inspiring as well, we get pumped in a lot of positive energy soon after the concert
absolutely worth the money and anticipation.

Jayesslee in May, soon after my last paper of second sem exam, it was a sincere piece.
more like a song sharing session rather than a concert, enjoyable one.
and yess, the girls were cute!
p/s: sonia's guitar is too pretty!!

Batam island trip in April just before exam.
It was actually a Groupon deal which offer a round island trip with one night stay in hotel.
remarkable thing is the Harris hotel which we stayed in, we were blessed with grand wide sea view
without any water sports activities done, leave us a good reason to come back again.

some recent vintage stuff of mine
 I had a hard time explaining what the camera-look-alike stuff is,
it's actually my iPhone case :)
and the fake plastic rayban from batam =p

had some good slack time after the exam,
attended a graduation dinner though I am still a first year undergrad (soon second year, too soon)
kinda meaningful :)

Frozen mind.

Yes, today she just want to do something she did as usual, in the past years.

"Being in a hostile environment, witnessing things you've never seen before and hanging out with new buddies...seem kinda fun. But sometimes when you get away from home for too long, in my case 3months, you kinda get tired. You wake up in the morning wondering where's that thick blanket that has the greatest smell on earth. You try to close your eyes again, hoping that when you wake up again your room at home magically appears. Most of the time you just convince yourself that the sun will not go down on you today, so get up and continue working for your dream."
"I don't know if i ever had one, but for now I'm really not sure which direction i'm heading to. I'm not sure if I ever felt so confused in life before. I'm not even sure if I'm where I'm supposed to be. Being 20 is hard. Ranting about it won't change anything. It's even harder when you don't even have time to hang out with the one you can talk with."

I guess she's a little bit different now. She used to be the girl who smiles a lot and enjoy every little thing. Now she's still smile, but that were not so...real anymore. I don't think she's having fun. Reality strikes, she doesn't have much choice but to accept and work for the future. She get many advices from friends, including those who are experienced. Anyhow she feels hard to implement some, too hard to be true. Not that she never try, it was just... to panic to step into the world with a wide big evil smile saying welcome.

No time to be weak, no reason for being weak as well. She learned this at this environment. Everyone around walk fast, she will be left far behind if she were to take it slow. Everyone speaks, she will be deadly forgotten if she didn't. Everyone socialise, she will definitely be islanded if she choose her own living way. 'Is this university life in the dream with all new buddies around, doing great things together, have snaps with sparkling smiles?' She always wonder.

She is always being anesthetized by 'real-life homeworks' and alikes. Being 20 / soon 21 is hard. She doesn't want to dissapoint anyone that ever help her to reach this stage. Including her family, who've spent a lot for her education. 'Perhaps this is the education of life, she convices herself.

Time to stand up and fight. Time to stop acting like a pity one. Time to strike for her own future. Time to take charge of her education, push her boundaries, be counted and make a difference.
Time to really learn, grow, lead and serve; Make herself unforgettable.